Sometimes, my mind wanders.
Of course, I’m a writer, so I’m a professional daydreamer. Stand aside, amateur 5th graders gazing out the window! Professional Daydreamer at work, here!
Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that goes through my head.
Several things of late have caused me to try to be more present: listening more closely to the stories my boys tell me; observing more minutely the details of the world around me; focusing on the present moment before it slips into the next and the next and the next; trying not to live in the future, thinking about writing or laundry or blogs I want to write.
I recently read an article about negative self-talk, which I can no longer find (this is the kind of reading I do – and apparently lose – when I am not reading fiction). It talked about being gentle with ourselves, and how the messages we say to ourselves in our own heads are usually much more negative than we would ever say to a dear friend we loved.
I didn’t think I was a negative self-talker, but as I listened to many of those future-thoughts, the ones that weren’t focused on the present, I found a lot of should-isms. I should rework the ending of that story. I should pick up the dry-cleaning. I shouldn’t be thinking about the future! I should try to be more in the present!
While being gentle with myself about it, I would like to
strive to be relax into being more present. A wandering mind is part of this writing vocation, but I don’t want it to get lost in future-land.
There is so much to treasure in the now.