Seeing things in a new way requires seeing the mess for what it is. Sometimes the mess is fine—it doesn’t matter, not really, if the box of junk stays a box of junk. Let go of the psychic toll and move on. Sometimes the mess is indicative of a wider, systemic disorder—a symptom of a larger pathology. Cleaning up THAT mess requires tremendous effort—it’s a lot easier to fix the box of junk. But the box doesn’t matter and the systemic disorder does. Chances are, you’re not the only one being ground up in its maw. It’s very possible the mess is a cancer slowly eating away at the things that truly matter. And once you take time to step back and SEE the world, THEN you have to do the hard work that adds value—because once something is SEEN, the effort to UNsee becomes the cancer.
We shy away from this. From the hard work. From the seeing. But if there’s something I’ve found true all throughout my life, it’s that you’ll never regret that kind of work. You won’t regret rising above your frustration and being vulnerable with your teen. You won’t regret letting yourself cry and feel the depth of your grief. You won’t regret taking the time to do foundational work—exercising your body, investing in friendship, pausing to put things in order. Not the box of junk, but the approach to life.
You might think you can’t know if your life has mattered until you reach the end, but it’s not true.
All you have to do is open your eyes and SEE.