On Monday, I talked about Thinking vs. Feeling, and Sherrie brought up an excellent point: boy characters think/feel differently than girl characters.
First, let’s not stereotype: boys certainly have feelings just as much as girls do, and your character should be true to who THEY are more than what their gender is. But, in general, what boys do with feelings can be quite different from girls, and accurately portraying that in words on a page is the key to a realistic character.
Here’s a girl thinking (Ever in Evermore, contemplating a small lie to her friends): They’re making such a big deal I’m thinking it’s my only way out. Only I can’t. Not to them. Haven and Miles are my best friends. My only friends. And I feel like I’m keeping enough secrets already.
Here’s a boy thinking (Cassel in White Cat, having just nearly fallen off the roof): I laugh with relief, even though I am shaking so badly that climbing is out of the question. Cold makes my fingers numb. The adrenaline rush makes my brain sing.
Here’s a girl thinking like a boy (Katniss in Hunger Games, ruminating about how she didn’t kill Buttercup the cat, because of her beloved sister Prim): But Prim begged so hard, cried even, I had to let him stay. It turned out okay…Sometimes when I clean a kill, I feed Buttercup the entrails. He has stopped hissing at me. Entrails. No hissing. This is the closest we will ever come to love.
Girl-like characters tend to think and react in terms of relationships: they ponder (sometimes a lot); they agonize; they contemplate feelings: theirs and other people’s.
Boy-like characters think more in terms of action, cause and effect, connecting the emotion to the outcome, rather than how they feel about it.
These are generalizations, of course. Your Character May Vary. But here’s a back-to-back example of how I would write a scene from a girl POV and a boy POV.
Boy: I sprinted down the street, dodging early morning sprinklers. I was going to be late. Again. Mr. Spencer was sure to give me a tardy and another note with a fake signature wouldn’t cut it this time. Spencer would kick me out of Trill Academy for sure. I slowed my pace. No sense in hurrying to my doom. I kicked a hose draped across the sidewalk and imagined it was Spencer.
Girl: I sprinted down the street, narrowly keeping out of the sprinkler. If I was late this time, Mr. Spencer would have my head. He’s hated me ever since I pointed out his error that time in Geometry. I clenched my fists. It wasn’t fair. I worked so hard to get in, and Spencer would kick me out of Trill with the slightest excuse. I stumbled over a hose draped across the sidewalk and came to a stop. I wouldn’t give Spencer the pleasure of seeing me come in all flustered and red faced. I straightened my shirt and leisurely strolled on.
Of course, this scene would play differently for different characters with different backgrounds, and I think the most important thing is to stay true to your character.
Do you write boy or girl POV’s? Do you incorporate emotions differently for each?
Susan Kaye Quinn is the author of the bestselling Mindjack Trilogy, which is young Third Daughter (The Dharian Affairs #1) which is her excuse to dress up in corsets and fight with swords. She also has a dark-and-gritty SF serial called The Debt Collector and a middle grade fantasy called Faery Swap. It’s possible she’s easily distracted. She always has more speculative fiction fun in the works. You can find out what she’s up to by subscribing to her newsletter (hint: new subscribers get a free short story!) or by stopping by her blog (www.susankayequinn.com).adult science fiction. Her latest release is
I've written both and I go with the person and the story. I haven't had anyone say my boys sounds more like a girl but we'll see. 🙂 Great post.
In my first book I had a major woman character, but the three POV characters were all male. In the book I'm writing now the primary character is a woman, so I am having to really work on giving her a true voice. I can't overfocus on it, or it will ring false, but I certainly need to try to put myself in a different mindset than I usually use.
@Laura I think sticking to character – assuming you build a truthful one – is the surest way to nailing the voice. And you beat me to the tweet! 🙂 Thanks!
@Ted Some people have a harder time with one gender or the other – but I figure it's all about immersing yourself in the world of the character. That's what writers do, right? 🙂
Great post! Looking back over my MSs, I do write the boys and girls differently in some of them, but I can think of one in particular where I need to do more work. And I agree that being grounded in who each character is is the key – so maybe what I really need to do is more character work!
Thanks for the insights.
Oh these are great points. I'm writing in male POV for the first time and trying to pay extra attention to these things. As a boy POV I try not to notice too many details like colors that would be more girl oriented.
I write mainly male POV and agree there is a huge differential. Sometimes though, I find people simplify the male POV too much, make it too choppy and basic because they think that's what it should be. However, amazing male POV works like Paper Towns or Thirteen Reason's Why, show us that you can write from this perspective with emotion, feeling and still have it come across as authentic. Great post!
I write mostly from a girl's POV, but I am planning to write a dueling POV story one day.
Great post, Susan!
@Ishta I constantly struggle to get to know my characters better – almost like real people!
@PK I think knowing what your character would notice is a great way of thinking about it. You have to know who they are to get their filter right.
@Stina Dueling POV! I love how that sounds! 🙂
Like Stina, I would like to write a two sided story someday, or even go for broke and do a whole male POV story. Right now I quake at the male POV perhaps more than I should. In one of my early drafts of the book I'm querying, I was told my female MC sounded "too analytical." HA! I think that means I could write boys–they'd probably be as neurotic as John Green's wonderful protagonists are.
i'm with the other commenters, as i focus on funnelling the character more than gender. i have boy and girl pov's but i notice a sliding scale in masculinity and femininity even amongst characters of the same gender.
You're absolutely right, but I think the important thing, which you mention, is that there is no reason a female character can't have a typically masculine reaction to certain things, and vice versa.
Great post, Susan!
EXCELLENT post!! Yes, boys do think differently in general, and we have to be careful when we cross gender lines. Nice examples. I write both (and I HOPEFULLY do a decent job when I cross the line). ;D
@Laurel Fear not the male POV! LOL You would probably rock it, if your girls are already analytical. I wrote alternating POV in Life, Liberty, and Pursuit, and really enjoyed it, especially since it was a love story.
@aspiring I completely agree about your sliding scale, and exploring that with your character is very much a part of getting to know them. 🙂
@Matthew I'm all for not locking into gender stereotypes. One could say that my whole life has been about bucking the stereotype.
@LisaGG Thanks, sweets! I can totally see you writing a wicked boy POV. 🙂
I love that I inspired a post 🙂
I read a lot of male authors and having two of the species in the house helps a lot with writing from a guys perspective. My son is usually my first reader and he's really good at pointing out when my male characters are too "wimpy" — his code word for too emotional 🙂
Great examples. My current WIP has a boy POV, so I'm tabbing this post for future references.
I'm in the process of writing a story from a 12 year-old boy's POV, so this is helpful–not that my primary source for the workings of an adolescent boy's mind (my husband) isn't sufficient, lol, but as writers, you know, we can't have enough resources!
In my first novel, I've got two protags, one male and one female. You nailed it when you said my girl spends more time reflecting and wondering about how others perceive her. The guy gets things done, keeps his eyes open, mulls things over, but tends to be a fixer.
The fun part for me is the unique voice. Joel "Zan" Alexander, my baseball player gets excited and it's a grand slam. His mind is a stadium.
Kasia, my female musician hears music and dissonance in everything. "Compassion was the melody in Lena's voice."
I love writing in both, but I find–strangely enough–that I write in Zan's POV better. Am I weird?
@Sherrie You inspire me in so many ways. 🙂 And tell your son I'll try to make sure my guys aren't too "wimpy"! LOL
@Natasha I hope it helps! 🙂
@JB I love that you tap your husband's mind! Awesome.
@Bethany I love your voice (and Kasia's and Zan's). 🙂 And I have an affinity for the male POV as well, although I haven't written a lot of it in a while. That will change with this next book – TWO alternating male POV's!
awesome post, Susan! You're so right about how boys and girls express their emotions differently. I've written from the male POV once before, and naturally I ran it through JRM for accuracy. He thought it was very good! 😀 I tried to focus on concrete things, just the facts, divide & conquer. 😀 <3 food for thought~
Loved this post. It's fun to watch my 5th grade boys and girls and see how they react and comment on different situations. If I may generalize: I think girls are over-thinkers and boys are not thinking enough- thinkers.
@LTM It's cool that you can run things through the hubs – mine, not so much. He's very supportive, though!
@Leslie I think there are a lot of girls who would agree that the boys don't think enough! LOL 🙂
Very thought-provoking. I'm going to have to re-read my stuff with at in mind. I'm such a stereotypical GIRL – all about relationships, replaying everything in my head – curious to see if that comes out in my characters!
Thanks for this post, Susan! I write both POVs, and I recently noticed I get very different feedback on my boy POV from girls than I do from boys.
@Margo It's so hard to distance ourselves from our characters – and at the same time be in their heads! #noteasy
@Myrna That's very interesting! And I've noticed too that my feedback from male and female authors can be strikingly different.
Awesome post! Boys and girls are just different. Just like characters are different. Finding just the right voice for each one is a fun ride. 🙂
@Leisha Exactly! 🙂
Some useful thoughts here. I am starting to write female POV characters more often so it's good to understand the distinctions.
@Adam I'm glad it helped!
I learned a lot from that Susan, bookmarked your website. great info thanks. ( aspiring novelist )