Sometimes I wonder what compels me to take that weedy path, the one that’s overgrown because few people go there. Sometimes I tromp across a meadow that doesn’t have so much as a deer trail, just because I think there should be a path there, and darn it, someone’s got to be the first.
What is my problem? And more importantly, is this behaviour I would encourage in my kids?
I realize that I don’t take chances in everything I do.
Wonderful, stable marriage? Well-worn path.
Running for public office? Road less traveled.
Owning a minivan, carting kids around? Paved road with lots of traffic.
Trying to write novels for a living? Weedy path.
So what makes me decide it’s worth risking time/money/effort to pursue a goal (writing) that may end up snarled somewhere in a ditch?
The truth is that I agonized over that decision and still revisit it on occasion, as if I’m not finished with the agony just yet, needing to vex my conscience a little more. I’m relieved that Dark Omen wants to be a physicist first and a novelist on the side, even as I abet his dream by planning to upload his novel to smashwords so he can share it with his friends. I worry that Mighty Mite loves Hip Hop dancing more than math, even as I can’t resist putting up mirrors in the basement, turning it into his own private dance studio.
Do I really want to encourage them to be risk-takers, like Mom?
Never mind that it’s worked out well for me, most of my life. My mom says I lead a charmed life, that things seem to go my way. Maybe she’s right. Or maybe I make my own luck, by working hard to be ready when Opportunity comes knocking on my door. Either way, what seems like a calculated risk when I’m taking it, seems like crazy foolhardiness when it’s my children’s futures at stake.
So, I take a deep breath and whack down the tall grass in my way with a machete I won online (being at the right place at the right time) – and take the biggest risk of all: daring to be myself, even when the kids are watching.
Do you hope your kids will take the safe path or the road less traveled?
I'd want a little bit of both for them. I guess it would depend on the situation.
Good question. And I agree with Laura…. a little of both. The important thing is to know when the road less traveled IS the best path… and I hope my kids will have character and creativity enough to make that choice. After all, if everyone always took the safe path… things would be awfully mundane.
I hope my kids pursue excellence, whether it's on a well-worn path or navigating unexplored regions of the Amazon.
I agree with the others. I want my kids to be smart in what they do and consider the situation, but I also want them to know that sometimes you just have to take a leap of faith.
Oh, such a good question. I can't help but want my kids to have financial stability, yet at the same time, I want them to be happy in whatever they choose. To stick with Robert Frost, in his poem "Two Tramps in Mud Time", he tells us that ONLY when our vocation and our avocation are the SAME can we be truly happy. We spend too much of our lives at "work", so it should at least be something we enjoy.
Something must be in the water, Susan, b/c I was having similar thoughts recently. Not sure why I took the weedy path… the bugs tend to devour me. As for my future kids, that is a bridge I'll burn after I cross it.
@Laura Which is what they probably will end up doing anyway! #delusionsthatImincontrol
@PK Amen to that! We need originality in the world.
@Bryan You know, I think that IS a better way of looking at it. #thankyou
@LauraJ Why does the leap of faith terrify me much more when my kids take it? #ohrightbecauseIlovethem We parents have so much power to direct our kids; sometimes I fear it.
@Shannon You (and Frost) are SO right about this. You would think I wouldn't forget it.
@Bane Great minds, Bane! And the bugs like me too – I must be sweet to them. 🙂
I am frightened. Mostly because of the machete. 😀 Kidding! No, I DO encourage my kids to go for their dreams. But I also tell them they have to work hard at whatever they choose because that's the way they will succeed. Hopefully I'm doing the right thing. There's no manual, so I go with my gut.
@LisaGG Working hard to succeed is always the right message. Sometimes it's hard to encourage them to take on the dragons, when battling your own fears, I think. But I have to keep remembering that the only true failure is in not trying.
Such a great question, Susan. My son is now in his twenties, and facing big decisions about his future. I find I'm able to (slightly) distance myself from the protective urges I felt when he was little, but it's so hard to watch them suffer. I try to remind myself that once they're grown, they'll draw on what they learned as children and get through it all. And guess what, I'm mostly projecting that suffering, because taking chances can be the best thing ever.
I sang this song last term w/my choir. Here's a link http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-sLY-BgYpo (not my choir, ours wasn't recorded).
I like you pick and choose my rocky roads. I might not always choose well, but I always see it through to the end of the journey. I've raised my children to do the same. I hope.
oooh! machetes are fun!!!
my boys- i want them to have the skills and education for a back-up plan or a stable job while chasing their dreams (it's so very hard to find employment without a college degree!) but i want them to chase their dreams. the two things are not mutually exclusive! and you run much faster when you have a solid footing and your mind focused, you know! seriously, i have one boy who want to be an actor/engineer, another who wants to be a rockstar/paleontologist (the punny-ness of this KILLS me!), and the third who wants to be a professional football player/ respiratory therapist… and you know, i think all six dreams are attainable! 🙂
I just hope whatever the road it is they travel that they find fulfillment and as much happiness as possible.
p.s. Speaking of happiness … I hope you'll come by the Write Game and pick up a little something Irresistible.
@Linda It is so hard not to project onto your kids! Even when you know that's what you're doing. Parenting is hard work – why didn't anyone warn me? 🙂
@Kai I'm sure your children will follow your lead – and you set a great example for them. 🙂
@aspiring I love the rockstar/paleontologist! The greatest thing about kids is watching them dream! I need to stop being stodgy and get out of the way. LOL!
@CLee Thanks so much for the award. And you are right about finding fulfillment … something much harder to find than a job.
I do think it is really important to be willing to take risks. Sometimes they will work and sometimes they won't, but we rarely find success if we aren't willing to take a road less traveled.
@Sierra So true! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
oh, less traveled. And you know you're the same. Although we do try to teach them to be smart and look out for themselves… much like D.O., who is too cute in that picture, btw~ 😀
My kids are just past high school graduation. One wants to be a writer and the other an actor. I'm their biggest supporter. They have talent, and even through they've both chosen tough paths, I'm 100% behind not letting the practical side tell them to have a fall back plan. Go forth young artists.
They are similar paths; one only wanting slightly less wear. Yet carving one's own path makes all the difference. No fall backs. No safety nets. One existence at a time. Only one path can be chosen. The path guided by bravery and self dignity is the only successful option, even if it appears to others as failure. A popular way to fail is to succeed at something that is "safe," "dignified," "socially accepted," but counter to one's own identity. Yes I think you can choose to live outside of your destiny, and it's hellish. Only the individual knows if he or she is heading toward his/her success, or alternately towards his/her failure. For God's sake love your child as he becomes himself.