Anger is pain, suppressed.
Rage is pain, fermented.
But anger is easier to face and embrace.
Empathy, perspective, love, compassion, logic…
All of these die on the sharp sword of our rage.
We need to make it easier to express pain,
especially for men.
And boys.
We need to not diminish pain as weakness (feminine!).
We need to not reward anger as strength (masculine!).
We need to start with scraped knees, growing compassion with compassion, and allow adult tears to fall, not with shame but understanding. With the catharsis of release and connection.
We need to respect the “feminine” qualities of every person… or the world will be nothing but pain on pain on rage on swords.
(Yes, I’m talking about the mass shooting. And the one before that. And all the others. And the crime of allowing men to express rage but not pain, and the crimes that are committed because of that. I’m also talking about how we diminish the pain of women (#metoo) and people of color. I’m talking about the everyday pain you feel and express as anger because that’s easier in this moment, right now. And it feels righteous. But now is the only moment you have to change how you are in the world… and facing the pain, embracing it and taking action in the face of it… is the only way to change the world.)