I talked before about seeing this slim little tome and buying it immediately, intrigued by the young author and the overpowering cuteness of the contents inside:
“If you want to start a conversation with a girl, first you have to say something like “hi.” If she says “hi” back, you are off to a good start.”
“If you are in elementary school, try to get a girl to like you, not to love you. Wait until middle school to try to get her to love you.”
How to Talk to Girls: RL: n/a CSM: 9+ Rating: PG Content: innocent talk about getting girls to like you
It takes approximately 10 minutes to read the book, and Dark Omen whipped through it in less than that. He wasn’t impressed, or if he squirreled away any nuggets of knowledge, he certainly wasn’t sharing them with his mom.
But the tiny book did make me think about the messages we send our wee ones about love and romance, well before they are old enough to dabble in such things (nor do we want them to!). Girls are inundated with Cinderella type love stories from preschool age; boys largely ignore these things. Many middle grade books dance around the idea of girls and boys being attracted to one another, usually reflecting the age of their protagonists: nascent puppy love is absent from most novels with characters 11 and younger, but 12 and over seem to have some (often barely hinted at) stirrings.
What intrigues me is not the idea that boys and girls might find each other interesting, but how those relationships are portrayed in books. Are boys and girls seen as friends, comrades in the supreme conflict of the book, like Harry Potter? Or are they shown as trying to date (or zounds, kiss!) the opposite sex in a rage of hormones?
Also important: how are the parent relationships portrayed in these books? Often parents are missing altogether, in order to support a young character’s independent adventure. Harry Potter again comes to mind in portraying the Weasleys as a happy couple, indeed the ideal parents that Harry longs for.
While I don’t want to see a lot of teen dating and angst in middle grade books, I think building the foundations for healthy relationships between the sexes starts in childhood: where that brave amazing sidekick, who happens to be of the opposite sex, turns out to be a really neat person.
And not just “a girl” (or “a boy”).
How to Talk to Girls is a cute little book, fine for readers 9+, that may inspire your son to share his thoughts with you about girls. That is, if you’re luckier than me.
Okay, I decided some little girl needs to write the partner book "How to avoid boys". Kidding. They really should have a "How to talk to boys" partner book. That would be cute!
~JD
Now THAT is a book I could write! But apparently someone's already beat me to it …
Also: Alec has written How to talk to Moms and How to talk to Dads.
What a brilliant little bugger! Three published books and he isn't even in high school yet.
Great points, Susan. 🙂
Brilliant little bugger = cad :)… Everyone knows girls have cooties until at least 7th grade.
This sounds so cute! I love the quotes you included at the beginning. I think you make some good points about the way these things are portrayed. I sometimes think we put too much emphasis during childhood years on whether someone is a boy or a girl – and it makes relationships (even platonic ones) awkward between the sexes in later life. Thanks for sharing this!
Bookish – Thanks for stopping by! We talk about books a lot on Ink Spells, but I also talk about writing (since I write children's books, natch). I love to peek behind the curtain at the process of how those books get into their hot little hands! 🙂
Hey Sue, I chanced upon this book several months ago in a bookstore and pointed it out to my 10 y.o. MotorSandal who immediately read it right there and then. And so did I. Recommend it–although, same problem as you–about getting a boy's True opinion!!
Mudita – MotorSandal! What a great name! 🙂 Do we ever get the true story? I think not. 🙂
One of my all time favorite books about boys in love is Betsy Byars' Bingo Brown and the Language of Love. My favorite passage is where he discusses his first "mixed sex conversation."
So real. So painful. So sweet.
I hadn't heard of that one. Thanks for the rec!
This sounds great–thanks for sharing! "Wait until middle school to try to get her to love you"… LOL!
Bridge to Terabithia has a great relationship between it's two protagonists. Please note I've only seen the movie(loved it!). I'm halfway through the book so I'm not sure how book and movie match-up. I like how Katherine Patterson is able to make the parents, especially Jesse's father, integral to the story and yet Jesse has free rein to develop. She uses strength of friendship and family to make life worth living in the face of tragedy.
@Ruth If it was up to me the "love" would wait until at least 16, yeh? Sadly, not up to me. 🙂
@Leanne Somehow Bridge has escaped my TBR list, but I need to rectify that. I love to hear that family plays such a bedrock role in that book. Thanks for the rec!