Over the weekend, I attended my local SCBWI (Society of Children’s Book Writers and Illustrators) conference, once again walking away with more writerly friends, awesome editor contacts, and an almost irrepressible urge to get back to the keyboard.
The best part was listening to Janice Del Negro talk about excellence in craft. But since I can’t do justice to her talk (other than to recommend Ursula K. LeGuin’s Steering the Craft), I wanted to share feedback from an agent on several first pages that were submitted before the conference. The pages were read aloud, and then the agent critiqued them. It was fascinating to hear, back-to-back, several first pages from authors at all different levels in the writing journey. Even more interesting were the agent comments. These comments all applied to middle grade and young adult manuscripts:
- Dialogue on the first page – the agent was a big fan of dialogue as a way to show character, and thought a lack of dialogue on the first page could be a red flag
- Make sure there’s a kid in the story – some stories had no children in the first page
- If there’s three paragraphs of setting description on the first page, the setting had better be a major character in the story
- Not a lot of stories these days are successful with talking animals
- Language needs to be natural, not overwrought or didactic
- Work to your strengths – if you can do funny, do more of it; if you do serious well, do more of that
- For SF: new tech names are fun, but make sure to avoid just renaming the “coffee pot of the future”
- Contemporary tech (iPod, etc) can quickly date a story, and isn’t always necessary for contemporary fic
- Cliches: Dogs we love, old Mrs. Carmichael’s, “Mama,” kid moving to a new town, adult looking back or telling the story
- You can use cliches, but they must have a fresh spin
- Don’t have cigarettes in MG, the librarians will not be happy
CAVEAT: My recommendation is not to worry about any of this until you have completed your MS – or possibly even gone through a draft or two. Only once your story is fully formed can you really write that first opening scene/chapter IMHO (thanks to aspiring below for sparking that thought!).
ALSO: See Tricia’s interesting post/comments on Dialogue on the First Page
I have to write my first page soon so this was very helpful!
eeks! first pages scare me! i have these two WIPs that really WANT to be written… but i keep stumbling over the first pages, and i think "blech! try again!" and then i rewrite them and rewrite them, and can't move on! some would say to write out of order, but then it will just loom over me the whole time- the worry and stress of first pages…
maybe i should drink a little less coffee… 🙂
@Lydia Great! I'm on the third major rewrite of my first page – good luck with yours!
@aspiring I'm going to add a big caveat above – you should only worry about these things AFTER you finish your MS. Only then can you really place the first scene appropriately IMHO. Good luck!!
LOL@the talking animals bullet~ 😀 or vampires? ;o)
These are great tips–thanks for sharing, Dr. Q!
I've been working a lot on my first pages. I have an iPod on the first page. Hmm. May have to rethink that.
Dialogue on the first page. That's one I haven't heard anybody mention, but it makes sense, especially if it shows character. Lots to think about. Thanks!
Thanks for sharing what you learned, Sue. If I ever write a MG story, I'll try to avoid the talking dog that everyone loves, hee hee.
@LTM Vampires aren't quite dead yet. (YES I REALLY DID TYPE THAT; I'M SO BAD) Seriously, I think vamps will always be around, but talk about needing a fresh spin …!
@lotus His point about the iPod I think was not to use it as a prop to say "look, see, we're here in the current time period." That there were other "universal" things that could be cues for contemporary fic, without having to limit your MS by having current tech.
@Tricia It surprised me too – but made sense. Not a hard and fast rule, but it is a great way to show character.
@Jennifer LOL
Great stuff here! And right on, too. The first page is crucial, we better get it right.
Hi Susan. Just letting you know that I was so intrigued by that tip I followed up with a post and linked you. Thanks for stirring up my interest in this.
Great post, great advice. Thanks Susan!
Very good advice! The first page is what snags a reader and young readers especially need something interesting to read. I'll remember this the next time I'm editing!
I've also never heard the tip about dialog on the first page. That's an interesting tidbit, and thanks so much for sharing what you learned. It makes me look forward to my next conference even more.
Have a great week! 🙂
@Karen And yet, it's terribly difficult to do!
@Tricia I added your link!
@Matt Thanks for stopping by!
@JE I'm glad it helped! 🙂
@MT Conferences always get me jazzed. 🙂
It is best, with any genre, to just get the thing written, then come back to the beginnings. I think beginnings are the toughest! And I also think dialogue to reveal character is especially good for MG. It keeps things lively.
Ann
@Ann Well said! Lively is best! 🙂