Writing It Sideways has a great post on filter words … those sneaky little words that put space between the reader and the protagonist, keeping the reader from being immersed in your story world. Words like to wonder, to think, to touch … The post has fantastic examples of how not to use these words in your prose.
Word choice strongly influences how we sculpt the world of our story. Creating slang or lingo for your world can add word choices that pull the reader in even more, but even subtle changes in words can flavor your story. Words like luster instead of shiny or tenuous instead of weak. Of course picking the just right verb turns jump into spring or pounce, which are entirely different things. I’m not suggesting using aphotic when murky will suffice, but writers shouldn’t be afraid to use “big words” in children’s literature. How else will children learn how to use these words, if authors don’t use them in gloriously well-drawn context?
Some middle grade (and young adult!) authors (and possibly editors?) believe that the language in these books must be “dumbed down” to be accessible to kids. But I look to the masters for examples in this regard.
One of my favorite authors, Lemony Snicket, outright teaches vocabulary:
Eavesdropping – a word which here means ‘listening in on interesting conversations you are not invited to join’ – is a valuable thing to do, and it is often an enjoyable thing to do, but it is not a polite thing to do, and like most impolite things, you are bound to get into trouble if you get caught doing it.
Another favorite, Scott Westerfeld, blithely rolls the vocabulary list out and mixes with generous helpings of political intrigue and adventure:
Dr. Barlow looked away. “Yes, the loris was designed with a high degree of nascent fixation. Like a baby duck, it bonds with the first person it sees.”
Glorious, I tell you! Makes me want to go around saying, nascent fixation. That, or barking spiders, because Westerfeld is a master of lingo as well.
Kids love these words – LOVE THEM. Especially lingo, because they have an innate love of something shiny and new that leaps out and captures their imagination. I don’t shy away from using big words, but I think I’ll be more intentional with them in my next middle grade novel. Because kids slurp them up like ambrosia stolen from the gods.
Do you intentionally choose your words, or do you write in your native vocabulary, the one you naturally carry around in your head? Do you try to dumb down or smarten up your word choices, depending on your audience?
I love this post. As the mother of an eight year old who reads at an extremely advanced level, I am not a fan of any MG that "dumbs down" vocab for these kids. Books that create their own language, or lend a fresh new perspective to something classic are faves like Rick Riordan's Percy Jackson series. I loved hearing blurbs of greek myths throughout the house and how he adapted them for his own use. Wonderful!
Great post! I don't try and dumb down or writer bigger words. I use the words that make sense for my character, in my story. I hate the idea of dumbing down. That's where kids learn vocabulary – through the context when reading!
@Lindsay Exactly my inspiration as well – having kids that love these kinds of books! And they're not the only ones, if you pay attention to the books that sell. You know it's captured them, when they start folding it into their play! 😉
@Laura Yes, I think using the right words for the right story is the way to go. I'm always surprised when I hear someone advocate the "dumbing down" approach, although they don't always call it that. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and readers are smarter still. 🙂
I groan everytime I hear comments about dumming down for YA. These individuals have obviously never read YA.
honestly, I just write whatever's in my head. 😀 But I try to think like the character, so maybe it's what's in his or her head? Good post~ :o)
I've HAD to dumb down my ms. And it makes me sad. I think 'pariah' is a beautiful replacement for the word 'outcast'…but not everyone agrees with me.
The problem with Five-Dollar Words is that they throw off a character's voice. A 15-year-old MC is going to think and sound a lot different than I am. So it's essential as writers to use the words the character thinks, not necessarily the pretty words or the synonmys we like.
I know, I know, I just I've gone against the grain. I don't disagree with this post or any of the comments, but there is a specific time and place for a beautiful vocabulary. And that time is not when you are establishing voice… unless of course your MC is a deep-thinking, mature, super-smart teenager.
I always try to stretch the words I use, at least a little. There is nothing I enjoy more than having to look something up – and therefore learning a new word – while reading. Even though my novel is YA i try to introduce new words to the reader, but you're right, if you stretch too far you'll fall on your face.
@Becky Ah, there's the rub. Many people think you can only use words that your MC would use in their "speech" in order to maintain their "voice." I disagree. And I've seen plenty of authors use complex vocabulary for 15 year old protagonists that aren't pontificating word nerds. I think the striving for "authenticity" is what makes it seem like we have to give up the words that kids are entirely capable of understanding. And this makes me a bit sad, not least because we are saying only super-smart nerds use complex vocabulary.
Thanks for the great comment! I think you're getting to the crux of the issue. 🙂
@Matthew I know, me too. And I think many kids (at least the readers) are also this way.
Oh, great subject, Sue, and one dear to so many of us. Hooray for big words, and writers and readers who are not afraid to use them!
I'm pretty inentional, looking for just the right mix of meaning, sound and rhythm. And I don't want to sound like a linguist with a thesaurus, but neither do I want to dumb down what I write. I try to trust my reader to read well. And that goes for kids, too. High expectations! A good thing! But within reason, too. As you said, context is important. You want to invite them upwards… but not overwhelm. Gotta find that middle ground.
That was a great article – thanks for the link.
One of my favorite PB authors is William Steig, and that's because of the language he uses. Even I had to look up some of the words he used in Shrek. His language is always unbelievable and kids LOVE it!! 🙂
@Bryan I love the image of inviting them upwards – it's gentle and yet insistent. And also difficult to do well. 🙂
@Shannon Thank you for that great example! I think if we pay attention to what kids like, we can learn a lot.
This is a fascinating discussion. I have no problem with big words if they come from the mouth of someone who would use them and if the meaning is clear in context (as in the example you used above). Real kids do not live in vacuums where no adult or book or something else might not challenge them with new language, so why shouldn't it happen in fiction?
@Tricia Yes, exactly! I like Rick Riordan's technique where he has kid characters all the time asking, "Erm, what the heck does THAT mean?" It's a device, but it's also realistic. And Westerfeld has made the point before that kids are much more in the mode of learning all the time that adults may realize – it's their full-time job! They are used to having to work and struggle to understand new stuff. It's the adults that have it all figured out. 🙂
Another example of not dumbing down words is the House of Night series. One of the characters, Damien, is a vocab whiz. He uses big words all the time and his friends make him explain them. I think it's great because kids need to expand their vocabularies and this helps them do so.
@Kelly That's another device that I think can work really well! Having character from different places/times/species(!) can force the vocab discussion in a way that's natural contextually.
When I sent my mss through 2 test groups of 6-7th graders, they all commented that they liked an easy read for their fun reading. Most reviewers are adults though, and they do prefer more challenging words.
hi miss susan! my cp sent me that stuff bout filter words and for sure i got a bunch of them in my wip. ack! i dont like dumming down cause i wanna learn new words. look how much times i ask on blogs what a word means. remember i asked you bout one. i like looking up words. i dont want dumming down in what i read. i love words and the more i got of them the better i could write and if i got them for sure im use them. i like making up cool words and names. this was a really erudite post. 🙂
…hugs from lenny
I love finding words I don't know when reading, but my kids think I'm a geek. I once offered them 25 cents for every word they read that they didn't know.
My brother had these wonderful editions of Jules Verne's 20 Leagues Under the Sea and Journey to the Center of the Earth that were just riddled with delicious and perfect words. I don't want texts dumbed down, and I think kids enjoy finding just the right word for a situation.
@LM Kids! Always want the easy stuff. 🙂
@Lenny!! Way to use erudite in a sentence, buddy! You rock! I bet you make up some cool words! 🙂
@Beth I know, if you look at some of the older "classic" children's books, they're filled with difficult to understand verbiage!
This post makes me so happy with Air Pirates (esp. now that it's YA). I love making up slang, but for the regular words I mostly go with my native vocabulary. There are some fancy words in my brainpan, but nothing quite like 'nascent fixation' 🙂
@Adam Kids will love Air Pirates, if they can ever get their hands on it. You sling some pretty awesome lingo, sir. 🙂
I do choose my words, and I do use a different writing style for mid grade and upper YA–not so much smaller words, but simpler plots and quicker pacing for the younger crowd. I don't think I dumb my MG down, I think it's just more straight forward.
@Leisha MG and upper YA? No middle YA? Interesting…I think of MG as being two different levels – think Captain Underpants vs. Harry Potter. The simpler plots for the lower MG Captain Underpants books is very understandable – also those books are shorter, 35k. But longer more complex Upper-MG like Harry Potter/Percy Jackson tend to be longer with more complex plots. Although still quicker pacing! Which is why I think a lot of adults like to read them. And stylistically, I definitely think there are differences between MG and YA. Thanks for the great comment! 🙂
Love this! Let's entertain AND teach. Win win.
Was it Mark Twain who said, "the difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug"? I couldn't agree more. I don't 'dumb down' vocabulary in my stories for many of the reasons listed above.
"How else will children learn how to use these words, if authors don't use them in gloriously well-drawn context?" – marvelous! very quotable! I loved the two examples you gave, as well. I'm adding this of my list of "things to do" when I start in on my second draft.
@Amanda Yes, exactly! 🙂
@moonlight Twain is a very quotable guy. And as usual, hit it on the head. 🙂 I wonder what he would think about not using big words for kidlit?
@Margo 🙂 I'm so glad you liked it!
I agree in a BIG way. Vocab was always a breeze for me on the standardized tests thanks to voracious reading as a child. There's nothing more fun than learning a great new word!
@Sierra Yes – any so many kids (especially readers) were just like you. We should make sure they have books. Also: lots of teens read ADULT books. I'm sure they can handle the vocabulary.
*cheering & applauding*
Yay!!! As a teacher, I know kids love fun words – words that convey exactly the right feeling. They don't want to be overwhelmed, but they love those terrific words that show up in the just the right place just the right amount of times!
Great post! I keep showing people the vocabulary lists for children to learn by whatever grade. Especially when they say my novel has too many "big words" to be a childrens'/YA book.
I wrote The Magic Pencil to inspire the desire to read and increase vocabularies!
Thanks!
@Jemi I love when teachers enthuse about books and words! 🙂
@Karen Yes! I would love to see those vocabulary lists! Good for you, encouraging that stretching in vocabulary! 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
THis is a great post, and important topic! Yes, I love it when authors use big words sprinkled throughout a story. Nascent fixation is awesome!
I'll never forget reading the word cacophony when I was in Grade 8! I looked it up. I used it in my next writing assignment. However, the teacher sent it back marked up saying I used it wrong, it only made me more obsessed to use it correctly! To this day, I still love that word!
@TerryLynn I think I remember seeing "cacophony" in your book Dogsled Dreams! Also wraith, and a bunch of other pretty words. And it was perfectly done! Exactly what I hope to do as well. 🙂
I love big words, new words, shiny words, descriptive words… I'd love it if everyone started using my favourite old weird word, wariangle [s]
One of the best websites I've found for celebrating words is wariangle mention http://inkyfool.blogspot.com/
When I write, I normally just use the words which come naturally to me. I've actually been told by someone in my critique group to change a few long words. 'Decapitated' was one of them -what 10-year-old boy wouldn't want to learn a awesomely gory word like that?
As for those filter words, I use them all the time and had no idea they were a problem until I read the revised paragraph in the writeitsideways article you linked (although I still don't agree with removing the word 'realized' there because I don't like what they replaced it with). My critique group has read my whole novel which I will be trying to publish and none of them said anything about these words.
@lightning First off, I'm flattered you're reading my old posts! Second, good on you for using the big words! Decapitated rocks! And critique groups are great for giving feedback, but the quality of the feedback is going to depend on where they are in their writing journey. Which is why it's always important to get as much feedback as you can, from a variety of sources – but in the end, YOU the writer need to decide what is best. Thanks for reading!
Interesting. Teaching vocabulary to kids is certainly a good idea. The challenge though, is that unless they can figure out the meaning of the word from the context, they may not learn anything, but rather be frustrated by their lack of understanding.
I think I tend to use reasonably simple language myself, because I've been told by a French-speaking reader that my stories are easy to read for those who do not have English as a first language (which is an advantage in the world of web serials, but not so much in the world of Kid's books).
I think we need all types of books, but I cringe when I hear things like "that's too hard for kids" – they're more apt to pick up the dictionary than adults and figure stuff out more than we think. If it frustrates them, they will turn away, but they will tolerate a lot for a story that engrosses them.