I’m preserving the original flavor of these two chapters (Taking the Road Less Traveled, The Secret Ingredient: Confidence) written just before my leap into indie publishing. Partly because they show what I was thinking before I knew self-publishing was going to give me monthly paychecks that would replace a job in engineering within a year. Before I knew people would give my books hundreds of five-star reviews on Amazon. It was before all the success I’ve been lucky and worked hard to have. And I think it speaks to the experience that many writers go through during that transition time when they step back, gauge the gap, get a running start, and make the daring leap into their author careers. Then we’ll tie things up with a retrospective chapter on Making the Leap.
When It First Occurred To Me That I Might Self-Publish
[Ed. Note: I am scared crazy here.]
What is my problem? And more importantly, is this behavior I would encourage in my kids?
I realize that I don’t take chances in everything I do.
Wonderful, stable marriage? Well-worn path.
Running for public office? Road less traveled.
Owning a minivan, carting kids around? Paved road with lots of traffic.
Trying to write novels for a living? Weedy path.
So what makes me decide it’s worth risking time/money/effort to pursue a goal (writing) that may end up snarled somewhere in a ditch?
The truth is that I agonized over that decision and still revisit it on occasion, as if I’m not finished with the agony just yet, needing to vex my conscience a little more. I’m relieved that 12 year old Dark Omen wants to be a physicist first and a novelist on the side, even as I abet his dream by uploading his novel to Smashwords so he can share it with his friends. I worry that 8 year old Mighty Mite loves Hip Hop dancing more than math, even as I can’t resist putting up mirrors in the basement, turning it into his own private dance studio.
Do I really want to encourage them to be risk-takers, like Mom?
Never mind that it’s worked out well for me, most of my life. My mom says I lead a charmed life, that things seem to go my way. Maybe she’s right. Or maybe I make my own luck, by working hard to be ready when Opportunity comes knocking on my door. Either way, what seems like a calculated risk when I’m taking it, seems like crazy foolhardiness when it’s my childrens’ futures at stake.
So, I take a deep breath and whack down the tall grass in my way, with a machete I won online (being at the right place at the right time), and take the biggest risk of all: daring to be myself, even when the kids are watching.
(Four Months Later) Just Before Deciding to Take the Leap
[Ed. Note: The fear is still there, but I’m proceeding anyway.]




Every now and then I read a post that helps me recalibrate. This is such a post, found at the opportune moment. Nicely written.
I'm so glad it helped, Peter! 🙂
Another wonderful post, Susan. It's fun to read how you've changed and grown, thanks to giving yourself permission to be creative. And I'm so glad that your kids seem to be following in your path! I think creativity in boys is something that's not encouraged nearly enough.
Change is such a vital part of life and growth and life happens based from it. terrific post.
~Summer
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Yes, it helps to hear about your insecurity of jumping into the large puddle called 'self-publishing,' and then realizing that you have to do it YOUR way, not the way of Joe, or Jill or Jane. That's how I'm getting through this puddle – handling the marketing and promoting the way that I'm comfortable with (after all, I wrote my books MY way also).