Sometimes, my mind wanders.
Of course, I’m a writer, so I’m a professional daydreamer. Stand aside, amateur 5th graders gazing out the window! Professional Daydreamer at work, here!
Yeah, that’s the kind of stuff that goes through my head.
Several things of late have caused me to try to be more present: listening more closely to the stories my boys tell me; observing more minutely the details of the world around me; focusing on the present moment before it slips into the next and the next and the next; trying not to live in the future, thinking about writing or laundry or blogs I want to write.
I recently read an article about negative self-talk, which I can no longer find (this is the kind of reading I do – and apparently lose – when I am not reading fiction). It talked about being gentle with ourselves, and how the messages we say to ourselves in our own heads are usually much more negative than we would ever say to a dear friend we loved.
I didn’t think I was a negative self-talker, but as I listened to many of those future-thoughts, the ones that weren’t focused on the present, I found a lot of should-isms. I should rework the ending of that story. I should pick up the dry-cleaning. I shouldn’t be thinking about the future! I should try to be more in the present!
While being gentle with myself about it, I would like to strive to be relax into being more present. A wandering mind is part of this writing vocation, but I don’t want it to get lost in future-land.
There is so much to treasure in the now.
Amen Sister – because soon they will be gone! Like our own little wisps of smoke out the door!(Murakami here – I don't have a blog I.D. π
I agree. I try and treasure every day my kids are home with -even the times I'm going batty!
@Pat!! I didn't know you read my blog. π I know you appreciate the treasures they are! π
@Laura The battiness is unavoidable! π But I find my stress level goes way down when I'm relaxed into the moment, rather than trying to multitask. I can't always achieve it, but I'm working on it. π
Absolutely! Relaxing while we create is tough, though. With lots of creative thoughts whirling in my head and then raising a family, it can get pretty hectic…and negative. I'm really working on being positive and living in the moment.
Susan, I know what you mean about wanting to really be living each moment. I think that goes for daydreaming too…appreciate those daydreaming moments because for writers, that's working time!
@Sheri I know exactly what you mean! I keep searching for the way to be busy without the hectic part. It's hard! π
@Andrea Being present, for me, is when I'm around the family. The daydreaming I try to keep to the times I've sequestered for it – and then I work it for all it's got! π But it's okay to have the daydreaming leak into family time, too. I've tried sharing the daydreams … and the kids love it!
I agree with you about getting lost in a dream. There isn't a day that has gone by that I can't remember trailing off into some futuristic la-la land filled with awesomeness.
But then, I look at my wife and my two awesome children and realize. It is already amazing, who needs awesome.
You are so right. I look at my kids and can't believe how quickly they've grown already. I try to cherish every moment, but life is pretty good at getting in the way. Thanks for the reminder.
Have a great weekend! π
@MA You are so wise! And kids SO need their daddies to be present. π
@Shannon I want to keep them small, but they insist on growing. π Happy Weekend!
Wow, you mind only wanders sometimes. Mine is always wandering.
I think I'm doing pretty good with the negative self talk–most of the time.
Sue, you are right on…and they DO need their Daddies. Your kids are lucky to have such a great Dad in their lives. It's a blessing to cherish.
And sometimes being attentive to the details of the now is what fuels the really important daydreams.
Absolutely! I've started a "best part of the day" journal entry that's helping me realize how great each moment is. Hopefully the effort will translate into an attitude of enjoying the moment as it happens. I'm too often stuck in that daydreamer bubble too.
Oh yeah–before I forget, and award for you:
http://crystalcollier.blogspot.com/2011/03/more-awards.html
@Stina I'm a recovering wanderer. π And keep going with combating the negative self-talk! We really should be kinder to ourselves.
@Jackie Thank you! And I thank my lucky stars for the great father my boys have!
@Bryan So true! I like to think of it as digging deep into the everyday mysteries surrounding us. π
hi miss susan! cause of almost getting dead a couple times i know you gotta just be where you are right now. i got liking buddha a long while back and he says dont get caught in the past or in dreaming on the future.just stay in the now. i think thats gotta be pretty hard when you got lots going on in your life. sometimes you just gotta stop and be.
…hugs from lenny
So true, Susan, we spend so much time planning for the future (or thinking about the past) that we forget to live in the Now. I try to always be observant in regard to what's going on around me. It's where I get the seeds of my ideas for writing.
Our children grow up too fast for most of us if we're working and raising a family. One saying I used to explain why I chose being with my kids as opposed to cleaning the house – "a clean house shows a life misspent, the dust will always remain, but the kids will grow up and leave home." (Might not be exact, but it made an impression on me as to what's really important)
Great post! Enjoy your weekend.
@Lenny You are such a wise little man, and I love it when you share your wisdom with us! Thank you!
@DG I only wish my dirty house could slow down the kids growing up! No one will every accuse me of being an overly kempt housekeeper. π
@Happily What a wonderful idea – a "moment" journal! And thank you for the award! π
There's a lot of wisdom in what you say, Susan. Where do we learn this negative self-talk? Bad enough that we sometimes beat ourselves for things that can't be changed, but why do we have to go and project that into the future? I too, need to work harder at being in the moment, and being happy with that! Thanks for the reminder…
Excellent reminder, esp. since I was in the black pit of self-loathing yesterday. Today's much better. But it helps so much to be aware of all the little but precious things you get in the present – in my case with four little girls under the age of ten. Fearful of the teenage years. There I go again! Future negativity! Send me virtual handslap please π
@JB I'm not sure where we learn it – I think it's all our hopes and fears wrapped up in a little future-ball of anxiety. And we want to control it. Insidious, really. But there's a whole lot to be grateful for in the moment! π Happy Weekend!
@Margo I won't send you a handslap, because you're a dear friend and I won't treat you that way. π And so, neither should you!! π I've so been in the black pit, so I understand. But if someone else was there, wouldn't you give them a hand up? I know you would. I fear the teenage years too (they are almost HERE!! Aaaahh!!), but I'm so happy with how my boys are in the present. Why do I think the future-present will be so much worse? Tuck the fear away and enjoy those beautiful girls! Happy Weekend!
'There is so much treasure in the now' – that is a perfect expression. It's something we all have to be more aware of – I know I'm not always good at it. Thanks for the reminder π
Sue, I read an article that said you shouldn't say, "I need to write today" or "I need to revise." You should want to and should say, "I'm going to write today" or whatever it is….it gives it a more positive tone and keeps writing being a want and a passion not a chore.
Thanks for the uplifting message – I just mentally told myself I'm special and gave me a big hug π
@Jemi You are most welcome! π
@Sharon That is one thing I've never struggled with – one day my passion for the writing will wane. Maybe. But it hasn't happened yet. π
@Charmaine And you are!! π *hugs*
Awesome manual for learning about being in the now is Eckhart Tolle's A NEW EARTH. Changed my whole perspective and understanding of being present. He even talks being present eating french fries. What's not to love there?
Treasuring the now is important. But it's hard not to think about the future and dwell on the past.
@Leslie Well, heck, I'm going to have to read a book that justifies my love of french fries!! π Thanks for the rec!
@Lisa Funny, that. I don't dwell much on the past (possibly because I can't remember it), but I'm constantly living in the future. CONSTANTLY. Sigh.