After last night’s Writers Club meeting: A Friend: It’s like you know a secret language we don’t. Me: I do?? I’m still not sure I entirely understand what he meant–something about having the key to getting writing done, moving forward, etc. I had told my writing group that I’d only be there if I hit my writing goal target for… Read More
MEDITATION – 1-2-3 Guide to Getting Started
MEDITATION I keep talking about it because I truly believe it’s the antidote to the unique stressors of the 21st century–the “always on” lifestyle, the pressure to always do more, the idea that constant striving is the only way to live rather than a way not to live at all. But people hesitate. Maybe they think it won’t “work” for… Read More
Going into the Cave
I’ve been a Monk for some time now… not the religious kind, of course, and not truly isolated from society, steeped in contemplation–but kinda. And I’ve been easing a bit further into the cave over the last six months. I’m not done with that, apparently, because I’m going to take a bit of a social media break–or at least spend… Read More
Unlocking Your Greatest Gifts (As A Writer and a Human)
Sipping tea and listening to the podcast I did with Paul Sating (a lovely human being)… I talk about meditation and writing, how we have to get out of our own way, excavate our emotional selves so we can put it on the page, and find that inner acceptance (“I am enough”) that will allow us to unlock our greatest gifts. From… Read More
Introduction to Meditation
This 10 min TED talk is given by the “Headspace Guy”… that gentle voice you hear on the app. I didn’t realize he was actually the co-founder of Headspace (ie not just voice talent hired for the job) and that he was also a monk. This 10 min video is a wonderful introduction to the concept of mindfulness and the… Read More
On getting out of the business… of giving advice, that is.
The indie publishing industry is changing. Of course, it’s always changing, but there’s a seismic shift happening in the indie publishing community right now. Many authors are pulling back from public engagement (with other authors), retreating to smaller groups for more intimate connections. The industry is maturing. The scammers are multiplying like rabbits, and there’s a turn toward more and… Read More
On Seeing Clearly
It’s amazing what you can do when you’re willing to see clearly. (This bears repeating, although my previous rendition of this had a different nuance. “The problem with clearing your mind is you see more clearly.” It’s the “willing” part that’s key to the above–seeing clearly can have an emotional toll, one most of us spending our time avoiding when… Read More
Battling the Demons
Summoning my inner shield maiden Yesterday was a visceral reminder that Daring Greatly=Vulnerability. And that before you can even step in the arena, you have to battle the Anxiety demon and his more blood-thirsty cousin, Terror, who are guarding the gates. Those guys weren’t messing around, either. My first battle weapons (frequent breaks, exercise) didn’t even make a dent. When… Read More
Self Care
“True self-care is not salt baths and chocolate cake, it is making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from.” I recently had a writer’s retreat, and when I came back, my mom asked “Did you just want to stay there forever?” It was pretty cool – a getaway in the Wisconsin countryside in a… Read More
GRIT – Passion and Perseverance for Really Long-Term Goals
It’s hard to overstate how important grit is to success in life – for kids and adults. People sometimes look at me and think (or say out loud!), “Well, sure you’re successful at fill-in-the-blank. You’re smart or have a Ph.D. or work hard or fill-in-other-attribute.” Very seldom is GRIT identified as the supposed magic ingredient for my success (however you… Read More
Seek and Ye Shall Find
Just walking across my living room sometimes puts me in a state of wonder. My knee surgery was a couple years ago now, but I still have a deeply ingrained awe whenever I walk without pain. The journey between that first debilitating injury and this morning’s 30 min walk in the crisp morning air is one long seeking – of… Read More
Altered Traits
Made my doctor’s day this morning. I led with: “I’ve been meditating daily since I saw you in September.” I was a wreck then, limping around with major back pain. Today I was effusing about the change in my mind/body over three months of rigorous healing/rejuvenation, including all kinds of exercise, yoga, meditation, at-home PT, etc. She was like, “Now… Read More
Being is the Foundation for Striving
“A[n] assumption of self-actualization theory is that it very strongly requires a pluralism of individual differences…. Such a true acceptance of individual differences has several key implications that should be stated briefly… it means that we try to make a rose into a good rose, rather than seek to change roses into lilies.” –Abraham Maslow, creator of the famous hierarchy… Read More
POINT OF VIEW
As a writer, exploring POV is intrinsic to what I do – a story is first and foremost the perspective which is telling it. (Something that is also true for politics, love, and reviews of Last Jedi – I still haven’t seen it, so don’t spoiler me!) As a parent, I’m used to the dual POV (me-as-adult and me-as-child) that… Read More
What’s Your True North? (Or How To Change Your Bad Habits)
I change goals all the time – but that’s because I’ve rethought what my purpose is and then re-align my goals to follow that compass heading. As we near the end of the year, it’s natural to look back, see where we’ve been, then look forward and set a new direction. I’m in the middle of a seven-week goal… Read More
This has been the longest year of my life.
Not because of pain and misery, although there’s been plenty of those. Also joy, peace, stillness, and clarity. And grit. Lots of grit. Was it only June that Wonder Woman came out? Was it only August when my son left for college? Has it only been 8 weeks since meditation became a daily part of my life? *actual thoughts I’ve… Read More
Mindjack For Real
Amazon “The amygdala, a key node in the brain’s stress circuitry, shows dampened activity from a mere thirty or so hours of MBSR (Mindfulness Based Stress Reduction) practice.” —Altered Traits by Goleman and Davidson This books is a fascinating collection of all the science studies of meditation, including a historical look at how far Western understanding has come. There are… Read More
Defining Reality Situationally
“People define reality situationally a lot of the time, and the further someone is from self-awareness and accountability, the more dramatic that can be from the outside.” – from my friend JC Andrijeski Related: this Burger King Anti-bullying ad will wreck you. This applies to people in general, to characters in books, and to writers themselves. To write is to attempt… Read More
Let’s Talk About Failure…
I do things with a high probability of failure built into them just for the learning experience. So, let’s talk about failure. I fail—all the time, in fact. I’m constantly daring, risking, and there’s a certain amount of failure that comes with that. I don’t like it, mind you. It’s painful. Monetary loss can hurt, personal pride hits are hard,… Read More
On How to Listen
A lady in a lake gave me a sword. I know its power and its secrets. My mind says, “We can unlock everything with this!” And I agree. I can see it, and my ambition is already halfway down the path. My body says, “You’re not strong enough to wield that sword.” I ask my brain, “Are we afraid? Is… Read More
That Time I Finished A Book In A Month Without Stressing Out
In June of this year, I had a crazy deadline I had to meet—a book from start-to-finish in a month, with a hard deadline in the form of an Amazon pre-order (let us not discuss the foolishness of setting up that pre-order, as I am currently repeating said foolishness). Long story short: I made the deadline. And the book was… Read More
Writing is an Exploration of Self as Much as Story
“It is impossible to become like somebody else. Your only hope is to become more fully yourself. That is the reason for practicing meditation in the first place.” —Jon Kabat-Zinn, Full Catastrophe Living So many authors suffer from comparison-itis—I did it myself early on, especially in those first painful years when you’re still struggling to find your voice and yourself… Read More
Do The Thing You Love… Every Day
Do the thing you love. Connect with the people you love. Put these things at the top of your To Do List every day, color-coded an urgent red or sunny yellow or peaceful sea-green. This is what life is made of, and it’s more important than any “urgent” thing on your list. A day when you can’t spend an hour… Read More
No STRESS, just FOCUS
This is my new motto. Also, read this: CLICK HERE TO GET IT “The signs of mental fatigue, such as a drop in effectiveness and a rise in distractedness and irritability, signify that the mental effort needed to sustain focus has depleted the glucose that feeds neural energy….The antidote to attention fatigue is the same as for the physical kind:… Read More
Community, Isolation, and Time Alone With One’s Thoughts
In our hyper-connected society, the art of being alone seems almost scandalous. And yet, there are studies which show people are even more isolated than ever before. Paradoxes—our world is built on them. For writers, isolation can be a serious issue. At the same time that you’re struggling with the emotional demands of writing well, the solitary nature of the… Read More
CONNECTION
An essential human need. Babies wither without it. Adults blossom with it. Just now, I witnessed the most adorable thing at the Panera. An older woman—at least 70—and a 20-something man embraced after an effusive “Good morning!” They both have Panera aprons on. All smiles, they set to work, doing the things Panera employees do. How delightful. And these two… Read More
Living Every Moment: Keys To A Creative Life
“Once we realize that the boundaries between work and play are artificial, we can take matters in hand and begin the difficult task of making life more livable.”—Daniel Pink, DRIVE: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us Work is play. Play can be made into work. This applies up and down the spectrum. Cleaning out the garage (as I did… Read More
MEDITATION AND WRITING
So, already I feel like a fraud just typing those words. Because who am I to talk about meditation? Or mindfulness? I use both in my writing – I *believe* in the power of both – but it’s not like I’m a Tibetan monk or a Mindfulness Guru. (^^the crazy that plays in my head sometimes^^) The following is my… Read More
ACHIEVING THE FLOW STATE
“A composer of music, for instance, may know that he wishes to write a song, or a flute concerto, but other than that, his goals are usually quite vague. And how does he know whether the notes he is writing down are “right” or “wrong”? The same situation holds true for the artist painting a picture, and for all activities… Read More
FINISHED NOT PERFECT
This video focuses on art, but is just as appropriate for the author. I think of the years I spent writing but never finishing my stories because they weren’t perfect. I still struggle with this, but I’ve finally found that place where I can accept the fact that my stories will never be perfect, but at least they’re finished.
DRIVE and Indie Publishing – Part 4 – OUTWARD MARKERS OF SUCCESS
DRIVE by Daniel Pink is all about internal motivation and how autonomy, mastery, and serving a higher purpose are things that fulfill us. I’ve always been very internally motivated. I’ve also always been driven. These are two separate things – you can have ambition but be motivated by external rewards, or you can have internal motivation but no ambition that’s… Read More
DRIVE and Indie Publishing, Part 3 – 10% Time
The idea of 10% time is letting your employees spend 10% of their hours (or one day a quarter – whatever) working on any project they want. The idea is to spur innovation. Now, this doesn’t naturally appear to apply to writers. I mean, we’re on 10% Time ALL THE TIME, right? Well… not really. In a global sense, yes…. Read More
DRIVE and Indie Publishing, Part 2 – Turning Work into Play and Play into Work
“Once we realize that the boundaries between work and play are artificial, we can take matters in hand and begin the difficult task of making life more livable.” – DRIVE by Daniel Pink I write full-time, which I often call “playing full-time” but in reality, I have three teen boys and a husband and home and a life, and it’s… Read More